Horrible, isn't it?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

Neil Gaiman

can it become real?

I lie in an early bed, thinking late thoughts
Waiting for the black to replace my blue
I do not struggle in your web because it was my aim to get caught
But daddy longlegs, I feel that I’m finally growing weary
Of waiting to be consumed by you
Give me the first taste, let it begin heaven cannot wait
Forever
Darling, just start the chase -
I’ll let you win but you must
Make the endeavor
Oh, your love give me a heart contusion
Adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red
Your hungry flirt borders intrusion
I’m building memories on things we have not said
Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly my love, not nearly my love, not
Nearly
Give me the first taste, let it begin heaven cannot wait
Forever
Darling, just start the chase -
I’ll let you win, but you must
Make the endeavor

Fionna Apple (an inspiration)