i will someday

I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

in American Beauty

às vezes esqueço-me de reparar na beleza do mundo. nas pequenas coisas. nos dias de sol radiante, nos sorrisos de pessoas que passam, no cheiro do meu cabelo acabado de lavar, da fotografia que tirei ao pôr-do-sol. há alturas em que não me lembro de tudo isto. ou que me recuso a saborear tudo o que me dão. porque às vezes não é fácil. eu sei que a beleza está nas pequenas coisas. mas o desejo de algo mais acaba por trair-me. acaba por arruinar momentos. e eu sei que não há mais do que momentos, que a felicidade não se agarra. prova-se e deita-se fora. às vezes esqueço-me... e deixo que as coisas me passem ao lado. but i will look deeply at everything. someday...